The Flaming Crayfish's House of Gaming Quotes

Fixing Destiny

Fixing Destiny illustration

In this campaign, a bunch of us were sent back in time to prevent Leonardo da Vinci from being killed by magical baddies. However, we're idiots, and we ran left when everything clearly was urging us to run right, and then one of our own guys killed Leonardo anyway, on purpose. It's a good thing nothing this serious is left up to us in real life.

"How'd you get here so fast?"
-- "Out of game - saying it's magic would be bad, right?"

"Your common sense tells you to give the GM some cookies."

"Estrogen cannon? That's vulgar!"

"So you've been told that he's a mage, and he's been told that you're a mage."
-- "So, you're with it."
-- "Whassup?"

"Did you just make that car name up? Like 'I'm driving an '86 Bricksucker?'"

"You know, if you look at a bag of popcorn really quickly, it looks like a bag of skulls."

"Men outnumber breasts in this room!"
-- "Not with my secret ...!"

"Just relax, this won't hurt."
-- "Lie back, relax ... turn and cough ..."

"Out of game. What was your name? Oh, wait. In game. What was your name?"

"How are you doing that effect?"
-- (hands over character sheet) "Pick something!"

"I improvise something like a leather thong."

"I know I have a bedroom. Hell, I have a gun! I have a bedroom!"

"They claim that his work is hearsay."
-- "... heresy, man."

"The bazaar that you are floating through now --"
-- "Whoa, that's vulgar."

"How many Asians do you see in [15th century] Italy?"
-- "Eleven, every day, and you can't prove that I don't."

"Five big mechs come and drop you in the bazaar!"

"The Lightsaber of Damocles is hanging over my head."

"Maybe Leonardo wasn't as good a diplomat as we are!"
-- "Is this the royal 'we'?"

"Cathy - the Other White Meat."

"I found a kindred spirit! I'm gonna jump on him!"

"Leonardo's head is on the floor."
-- "Are there any really good Life mages around here?"

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