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The Flaming Crayfish's House of Gaming Quotes

Dark Boston

Dark Boston illustration

This campaign had a wannabe Jedi, a drug-addled journalist, and Batman. There was some kind of big evil that we were meant to prevent, but we felt useless and frustrated and tried to escape to Maine, with no luck. Finally we ended up in a massive fight outside a supernatural alternate version of the Prudential Center, and we managed to off some high-profile enemies. Go, us!

"I'm turning into a donkey. Could someone help?"

"I'm on drugs! 'Mind tricks don't work on me - only acid!'"

"I'm not one of the brightest eggs in the basket."

"Can I make the Pru into a ball pit?"

"Eat the dice! Eat the dice!"

"A finger taps you on the shoulder."
-- "Just a finger! No body attached!"

"You wake from dreams of bouncing and flying ... man, if Bonnie were here, what would she say?"

"What are the rules of engagement?"
-- "First you offer the woman a ring ..."

"Sam pulls out his lightsaber. Russell, I know what you're pulling out!"

James' lightsaber hits the fountain in front of the Christian Science Center.
"Roll for your soak."

"Can I use my 'Summon Whores' spell?"

"The day seemed to last on and on, as it usually does on the longest day of the year."

"You enter singly."
-- "Damn, I wanted to enter marriedly."

"Where's the 'Vulgar as Hell' sign?"
-- "What? ... man, I thought you said 'Voltron as Hell.'"
"Voltron as Hell??"
-- "Oh, no, wait - that was Mike's old campaign."

"Killians Red, please."
-- "Just 'cause it has 'kill' in the title."

"Something tells me steaming, buttery crayfish shouldn't be attacking people."

"I fought crayfish before. They can be mean."

"I was considering taking a dot in Asslore."

"You remember that James Bond movie? The one where he drives the car around?"

"Those two guys on horseback. They were two This. I mean Sith."

"I'm calling room service. Tell them to send up dinner for 5, chef's choice."
-- "Chocolate Salty Balls!"

"Is this an off-road limo?"

"From now on, I'm going after all joggers in Boston!"

"Just say 'HIT Mark', not 'Jogger With Claws'!"

"I try to scare the horse. Disturb it."
-- "Show it what's under your robes!"

"You guys are pushing me to the Dark Side here!"

"Go go Gadget Arcane!"

"They're talking, but you can't hear what they're saying."
-- "Everyone reaches for their spheres!"

"I love Harvey! He's our pet HIT Mark!"

"How is he holding me? ... hey, don't touch me!"

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