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The Flaming Crayfish's House of Gaming Quotes

Weapons of Biomass Destruction

Weapons of Biomass Destruction

So a cyborg, his keeper, an ex-baddie, and this earthy chick team up with a magical farmer to administer the smackdown on a biotech company out in Western Massachusetts. And that's what we did. Plus we tangled with some Goths and visited a swinger's club. Good times!

Mike describes his character.
"My character has amazing powers set off by horrendous flaws."
-- "Mike, he's just like you!"

"I see why you guys game now - it's a socially acceptable way to be cruel to each other."
-- "Back home we call gaming the 'Four Hours' Hate.'"

"Yeah, thinking's good. The more thinking you do, the ... good ... stuff ..."

Someone mentions "save, sane, and consensual".
"If an 18-year-old sheep ..."

Someone spots Brian's fighting stick.
"It's for kendo."
-- "Who's he?"

James' character is not quite like the others.
"He crossed out 'Do' and took four dots in 'Farming!'"

"I am not a baked good!"

"Mike, you turned me into a donut that one campaign."
-- "Yeah, it's your turn to be pastry!"

Sings "We built this city on rock and porn!"

"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his cock."

"Truth is a sexually transmitted disease."

Everyone debates how to roll the dice for a sexual encounter. We are big nerds.
"Stamina plus Appearance??"
-- "It's a function of how hot she is and how fast she can bounce."

"You recognize cylindrical tanks with fluid and things floating in them."
-- "It's pee."

"We're in the pasta aisle. Here's what we're gonna do - we're gonna channel Prime into one of the sauces."

"So where do the local Goths hang out, Farmer Phil?"

"Let your fingers do the walking!"
-- "Literally. I have Life!"

"Mike, take a point of Paradox."
-- "For existing?"

"I got one success."
-- "I love how they say they got successes when I didn't tell them the diff."
"I got a 10 and two 4's!"

"They're not Maintenance! Bri, you lied to us!"

"Don't worry guys - I'll be there soon!"
-- "He'll be there soon, and then he'll promptly botch."

"He kicks you. In the groin. Clank!"

"I'm rolling and jumping at him. I can demonstrate, if you like."

"Ah, my gun jammed! Ah, my gun's a banana!"

"Kick him in the nads!"
-- "He has his back to him."
"So what? He has nads in his back!"

"You soaked four gun shots to the back?"
-- "I can't do anything productive, but I can't be hurt!"

The companies have about 500 to 1000 employees."
-- "500,000 employees?"
"Clean out your ears, Farmer Phil."
-- "Clean up your accent!"

"We're in farm country, but there's a swinger's club and a Goth club."

"I'm pretty sure that you're not hiding a Cray in your barn."

"Imagine this conversation: (mimes a phone call) 'Hi, this is the Progenitors ....'"

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