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The Flaming Crayfish's House of Gaming Quotes

National Lampoon's Alternate European Vacation

European Vacation illustration

In this campaign, a bunch of us were taken to an alternate version of Europe where the Roman Empire never fell. We traveled all over the place collecting six talismans, but inevitably we'd end up accidentally destroying every city we visited. Our bad.

"We met at the foothills of what you would call the Alps."
-- "In that world they're called the Spla."

"What is the primary mode of transportation?"
-- "Leprechaun rickshaw."

"I'd like to see you give a manticore a wedgie."

Mike: "I would not suck on said dick!"

"You then identify the acrid smell in your nose as smoke."

"He took away your dots in 'Dick.'"
-- "Said dick."

"Stay-Puft Marshmallow Maggot!"

"Hey, it happens sometimes. I just look down and boom, I'm not wearing pants."

"We're gonna be attacked by ancient Roman mechs!"

"Your character's bosom rises and falls as you sleep."
-- " !!! I sleep on my stomach!"
"Okay, your ass rises and falls."
-- " ... Mike, do you ever look at people, ever?"

"Monkeys done bit my arm."

Mike works on getting us to do something.
"I'm trying to figure out how to execute it -"
-- "Execute us. Mechimus Maximus drops out of the sky ..."

"How many whacks could a bivouac whack if a bivouac could whack whacks?"

"I just had a thought!"
-- "Five years of college just came to a head."

"You guys take for damage ... ah ..." (Mike rolls eyes, starts counting)
-- " ... carry the two ..."

"Especially if said weapon has an Entropy effect! ... uh, wait, that was out loud."

"He botched on a Running roll?!"

"You aged in body but not in mind."
-- "Just like in real life!"

"Liz suddenly froze, as if she's freezing."

Stewart calls down a lightning strike.
"Yippee-kay-yay, motherfucker!"

"My name is Dmitri ... something or another."

"Who's got dots in 'Punch in the Mouth'?"

"I'm a Technocrat."
-- "WHAT??"
"I'm a Son of Ether."
-- " ... oh, a Technomancer!".
"Technically."

"Oh yeah? Oh yeah? I don't see us electing you king so you have no authority here cocksucker! ... that was in game."

"There is an ancient place where they discuss ancient things."

"You're trying to take my pie pieces!"
-- "No we're not! We just think you're a jackass! Who's with me?"
All players and the GM raise hands.

"This group would start to collect the Signs ... no, wait, wrong campaign."

"I believe that it's - out of game, Fuck! What was his name? In game - Cain."

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